That’s the idea behind the Bad Burrito Awards for questionable religious ideas and products, now in its eighth year. These are not people hostile to faith but who are guided by head-scratching fervor.
Like ChurchAds.net, a UK-based ecumenical charity. They started with the slogan: “Christmastime begins with Christ.” Nice! Then they made downloadable posters featuring a doll with this caption: “Godbaby: He cries. He wees. He saves the world” (christmasstarts.com).
The questionable signs state that the baby is not available in stores - much like the Bad Burrito Award they get.
Another example is 81-year-old Cecilia Jimenez in northeastern Spain, who took it upon herself to practice DIY restoration - poorly - on a 19th-century fresco by renowned artist Elias Garcia Martinez. Observers called the updated version of “Ecce Homo” (Behold the Man) “ecce mono” (behold the monkey). Authorities threatened to sue. Then, when the publicity increased tourism to the town, Jimenez demanded royalties to go to a charity of her choice.
I don’t know about royalties, but she certainly has earned a Bad Burrito.
Speaking of art, consider the artist Igor Scalisi Palminteri.
“Hagiographies” (tinyurl.com/2012BurritoA) picture Christ and Christian saints as superheroes. Whether it’s Mary, Joseph and Jesus dressed as characters from “The Incredibles” or Jesus looking in a mirror in a Spider-Man costume, it’s definitely Burrito-worthy.
An honorable mention goes to the church mural seen on the Internet, but unidentified, showing an image of Jesus praying with a collection of Marvel comic book characters (tinyurl.com/2012BurritoB).
Here in America, we have an abundance of t-shirts that show devotion by parodies of familiar products packaged with Christian themes.
Second Coming Clothing Co. offers a men’s t-shirt advertising a can of Bloodwiser (tinyurl.com/2012BurritoD) and the slogan “The wise men knew His blood for you.” This goes very well with the Burrito they’ve earned.
Then there are real beverages. Japan apparently has a lot of odd-titled drinks available in their vending machines, such as Pepsi Ice Cucumber, Diet Water - and God Super Blend Coffee, available in Mocha, Kilimanjaro, BlueMt. and Black.
Exactly what would you serve with that? Me, I would include a Bad Burrito.
“A Catholic, a Muslim and Buddhist walk into a conference room” sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. In this case Gary Graham was the inspired Catholic who reports waking up from a dream (we don’t know whether or not he had eaten a burrito first) with the idea of a talking rosary.
Working with Buddhist and Muslim engineers, his dream became a reality. At FreedomRosary.com you can purchase an interactive Rosary with advanced digital voice technology, or hear a demo. For this, he is awarded a non-interactive Burrito.
Finally, many of us wonder about the Rapture, but who has the time to keep up with all the prophecies? Luckily, there is the Rapture Index (tinyurl.com/ 2012BurritoC), courtesy of the Rapture Ready website.
This index is not meant to predict the Rapture; rather it considers itself a “Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity.”
Forty-five separate categories rate everything from inflation to volcanoes. The index rates a Bad Burrito, too.
The Mayan end date of Dec. 21, 2012, is a runner up, but won’t be awarded until Dec. 22 - just in case.
The world desperately needs Christ, but perhaps some attempts are just a little too desperate. Support efforts to present Christ in best possible light.