It’s campaign season. But there’s an unlikely candidate emerging. A Baptist church in Alabama started making “Jesus 2020” yard signs to rival those ones claiming to “keep America great” or “restore the soul of America.” Several thousand people in multiple states quickly decided to stop biden’ their time and back this candidate that trumps all others.
This Jesus candidate could manage some Kanye West-level media attention. While some might struggle to walk down a ramp or drink water, he just walks on water! He may even try to feed thousands at his next rally — assuming he ever leaves the wilderness during the pandemic.
But while I haven’t seen any polling yet, I don’t have high hopes for the chances of his dark horse — or is it a dark colt — candidacy.
The look is all wrong. We’ve not had a bearded president since Benjamin Harrison left office in 1893 — though losing candidates like Al Gore, Ted Cruz, and Beto O’Rouke seem to take a Nazarite vow when their White House dreams are crushed. And does he really think we’ll elect a dude who looks homeless? We don’t even want them in own communities, let alone the White House.
I also worry the campaign yard signs cater too much toward the Hispanic vote. I mean maybe running just as “Jesus” would help in Texas or California, but to win as president he’s going to need to win over voters elsewhere or the electoral college will treat him like a lamb to the slaughter.
Of course, when you’re running against two old, white guys perhaps it helps to play up the diversity. Sure, Jesus was born a long time ago, but despite what Trump-loving evangelical author Eric Metaxes recently claimed, Jesus isn’t white. I guess that’s just one of the lies you should expect to hear about yourself from your opponent’s supporters.
There might also be some attempts to attack the lineage of the newcomer who entered the race in the 11th hour, but those rumors about his dad don’t seem to rise to the level that other presidents already overcame. After all, can you blame a kid if he was conceived out of wedlock? No, you focus on policies.
And that’s where we find the political millstone around his neck.
Have your checked out the campaign speeches by this guy? Oh, the pundits are going to move mountains to pile on him.
Sure, lots of candidates have flubbed an interview or said something stupid their staff had to walk back nearly every day. But has any candidate launched on such a crazy note as this one? Also, why does he keep answering reporters’ questions with questions? Doesn’t he know that’s annoying?
Like any smart candidate, he returned to his humble home to announce his candidacy. But the messaging clearly hadn’t been properly tested with a focus group. First speech and he announced his plan to set the prisoners free, provide health care, and help the poor. What happened to prioritizing law and order, military spending, and the middle class?
For me, that was the writing was on the wall that his candidacy was destined to fall by the wayside. He won’t survive the Marxist label that’s coming after that.
To make matters worse, he just kept talking. About loving your enemies and turning the other cheek. I don’t know if he has feet of clay or just doesn’t understand politics, but you won’t win if you don’t punch back (and preferably first). Negative attack ads work. Love? Not so much.
I mean do we really want someone as commander-in-chief who says we should be peacemakers who love our enemies? I thought we’re supposed to bomb first and let God sort it all out later.
And that rhetoric about giving to the needy and blessed are the poor? No, all lives are blessed. Especially those who can store up their own treasures here. Those are the patriots who built this nation on the backs of others. This is America! The poor people need to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps. And if they don’t have bootstraps, they should just ask their middle-class parents to buy them some nice boots with straps.
If this crazy fool keeps talking like this, he’ll end up not just losing the election but getting himself killed.
So, don’t let the “Jesus 2020” signs confuse you. Our country isn’t ready to follow that guy.