Celebrate the annual 'Bad Burritos' - Word&Way

Celebrate the annual ‘Bad Burritos’

Have you ever woken up, trying to remember that great idea that you had during the night — only to find out it was the result of indigestion more than inspiration? If so, you’ll understand the inspiration of the annual Bad Burrito Awards for “What were they thinking?” examples of offering products and services for believers.

The first Bad Burrito Awards featured an upside-down Christmas tree, designed to leave maximum room for gifts.

Ken SatterfieldKen SatterfieldThis year, Menorah Trees (menorahtree.com) win the award for designing a Menorah that looks like eight Christmas tree branches — just don’t add candles. Jews who enjoy playing with dreidel during Hanukkah but think the top is too old-fashioned are in luck now that No Limit Texas Dreidel Game (texasdreidel.com) has been introduced. It combines dreidel with poker.

Another game, Holy Rat (myholyapps.com), allows you to serve as a guardian angel to help lead the rat to its promised land. There are a lot of “cheesy” mobile games, but this one takes the cake — and a burrito.

Speaking of things to eat, the project funding platform Kickstarter and Sucré Bleu company (lesucrebleu.com) collaborated for the idea of creating a chocolate Jesus sprinkled with sea salt. A product in such poor taste also deserves a bad burrito.

If you are looking for a distinctive way to share Jesus, one group wins an award for using body graffiti in the form of billboards with a tattoo emblazoned Christ, with words like “outcast” and “addicted” to show how Jesus bears our sins. While the billboards attract attention (jesustattoo.org), what message is it sharing?

When it comes to signs, the signs displayed by Westboro Baptist Church followers at funerals are universally despised.

This April Fools Day, members outdid themselves by tweeting several “humorous” messages, including “Hey, guess what? The Lord God Almighty has not pronounced eternal condemnation against all sodomites.” That’s worthy of tweeting them a Bad Burrito Award.

Costco shopper and pastor Caleb Kaltenbach noticed that a Costco store had put price tags on Bibles labeled “fiction” and proceeded to contact news organizations and social media to fan the fires of public outrage, rather contact the chain, which happens to be headed by a devout Catholic who apologized.

Who has a corner on worshipping God? In Malaysia this year, a court in the Muslim-majority country ruled that only Muslims are able to use the word “Allah” to describe God. That decision is worthy of a burrito, too.

A different form of intolerance is found from Jihawg Ammo (jihawg.com). Outraged by plans for a Muslim cultural center near the Ground Zero site, the Idaho company created bullets coated with pork-infused paint to make them unclean to Muslims. If killed with one, a believer will be unable to enter paradise. Certainly, this is worth a burrito-infused award!

Last month Archbishop Justin Welby stated that fashion has “emptied” the cross of its power. And that is no truer than for shoes from Kami Shade (kamishade.com) or Svpply.com with spiked heels designed from crosses.

Or just put it in your mouth. Although you won’t find it on their site, BooginHead offers a custom Live Forever Cross pacifier with a “cool black and white grunge background with a cross and a great message.” Or Zazzle.com sells a girly pink floral pattern. Really?

Lutherans who admire Martin Luther for standing up to Emperor Charles V with his “Here I stand, I can do no other” speech will no doubt be thrilled to wear Old Lutheran’s (oldlutheran.com) socks sporting “Here I Stand” messages. Wonder if a burrito can fit one of those?

Remember, if you want to take a stand in demonstrating your faith, try to avoid using products that make people wonder: “Inspiration? Or Indigestion?”

Ken Satterfield is Word & Way’s advertising and marketing coordinator. He welcomes your product suggestions. By the way, inclusion in this article does not constitute an endorsement.

Past Bad Burrito columns:

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