Bad Burrito Awards 2019: Sweet Dreams, Not Found Here - Word&Way

Bad Burrito Awards 2019: Sweet Dreams, Not Found Here

Bad Burrito 2019
Bad Burrito 2019

Bad Burrito Award winners for 2019 involve a license tag, healing service, streaming viewers, confession, and inflatable Jesus, among others

Sewing machines. The theory of relativity. Google. The Beatle’s “Yesterday.” The Terminator.

What do all these have in common? They were all inspired while someone was asleep. But not every inspired dream is a good one. And when it seems a religious idea probably owes its existence to indigestion rather than inspiration, that’s when we break out our annual Bad Burrito Awards.

For instance: Have you ever had communion, but hate to share a plate with others? That’s not a problem, thanks to Purity Communion. Their host dispensers combine the sanctity of the occasion with the innocent charm of a Pez dispenser.

Or, how about an inflatable Jesus? Not a miniature that can fit on your desk. No, we’re talking about Alibaba’s 13-foot Jesus – one arm raised, the other carrying a lamb – sure to inspire and terrify the neighbors. Or, this curious variation.

Church services can also be award recipients. Take Middleton Church of Christ in Tennessee and their fall lecture series, “The Christian Woman,” including sessions on woman as wife, mother, and teacher. Sounds interesting – only, why were all the sessions being led by men?

Then there’s the object lesson that got out of hand for the youth at Impact City Church in Pataskala, Ohio. In understanding what Jesus experienced on the way to his crucifixion at Easter, an associate pastor ended up slapped, beaten, and cut. That’s certainly Burrito-worthy.

And, even as a sports fan, I wonder about the healing prayer service held at Asbury United Methodist church in Prairie Village, Kansas – for the injured ankle of the Kansas City Chief quarterback, Patrick Mahomes. (For the record, they accepted requests for other NFL teams too, although it was noted at that time they hadn’t “received any prayer requests for the Chiefs opponents.”)

And of course, there are those news stories that suggest somebody, somewhere should get their own Bad Burrito:

  • Rochester Cathedral in England, the second-oldest cathedral, deciding to attract more visitors by installing a temporary miniature golf course
  • The resolution passed by the Wisconsin Assembly to declare the evergreen in the Capitol a Christmas, not a holiday, tree
  • The bottom of the state of Kentucky license tags read “One Nation Under God,” but they lost their case against atheist Ben Hart, who requested the personalized license tag IM GOD
  • A tweet from Union University showing a student offering a confession to plants for sins against nature
  • Christian Book Distributors deciding to stop using their initials after 40 years because of confusion with “the other CBD” – the marijuana chemical
  • The congregation of Independent Friendship Baptist Church in Appomattox, Virginia, responding to a presidential tweet with an “America: Love It or Leave It” sign that went viral. (They walked out.)
  • The 20,000 petitioning Netflix to cancel the irreverent “Good Omens” – probably without seeing it, since it was actually on Amazon Prime

Whenever you see a burrito, let it serve as a reminder to be salt and light in the world by communicating in creative – but thoughtful – ways.

Ken Satterfield is a former media specialist and current marketing director for Word&Way. He welcomes your product suggestions. By the way, inclusion in this article does not constitute an endorsement. 

Past Bad Burrito columns:

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